- Short Term Rental Apartments in London, UK
- A Valentine's Day Letter from your Girlfriend
- Lunch Break: Stephen Colbert Discusses The Beer Pong Herpes Outbreak
- Lunch Break: Joaquin Phoenix Performs Song From Debut Rap Album, Fights With Audience Member
- The Lonely Island: I'm on a Boat
- Lunch Break: Stephen Colbert Drops a Profanity On The Today Show, Shocks Meredith Viera
- Lunch Break: Barney Stinson's Guide To Picking Up Women With Time Travel
- Lunch Break: Jon Stewart's 1994 Interview With Conan O'Brien
- Lunch Break: Larry King's Interviews With Famous Comedians
- Lunch Break: Will Ferrell's "You're Welcome, America"
Turn out the lights, put away the Quiji board, and pack up all your Are you Afraid of the Dark DVDs because its time for another installment of Halloween Horror Stories from the Bar!!!
It was a foggy evening as the sun set on Ol' Jamaica, Queens. Since it was Wednesday, everybody knew what they were doing tonight. Happy Hour. $2 buds and miller lights, $5 car bombs, and no charge at the door. If you get there before midnight they don't usually card.
While upstairs dancing with randoms, I notice a girl I know named Becky. She is avoiding me, I can tell because there isn't much space upstairs. If you know somebody up there, you will talk, trust me. I don't mind it though. She is the kinda girl that will avoid you but walk near you so that you notice her. She is also getting sloppy drunk. We had a temporary fling ending in disaster because VERY IMPORTANT TO THE STORY: Becky is wearing a dress, underwear, and no spandex.
The boys and I retire downstairs to the bar to watch the postseason and tilt back some domestic brews. Who rolls up but our girl Becky. By now she is piss-my-pants drunk. She comes up to us with a drunk confidence and tries to sit on my lap. I push her off onto my friend and she refuses. She sits on my lap for two minutes, get's up abruptly and then pushes me off the seat so that she can sit down. She makes out with my cheek and I feel another salty kiss situation coming so I make up something and leave.
The next morning I wake up on my buddy's couch with a weird stain on my Corduroy's.
The stain is:
~ red
~ 4 inches long
~ 2 inches wide
Facts
- I rarely throw up, I know the stain is not vomit
- I did have french break pizza's after the bar but I did not drop it or spill it on my pants
I decided to take it to the lab, my female roommate. I told her what happened the night before, about the beers, the dancing, Becky and her dress. She stops me and goes "Maybe its period blood"
Now I know what you are thinking, Didn't this happen in Superbad? Yes this did happen in superbad but more importantly it happened to me. What is to say that it wont happen to you? So beware this Halloween for nobody is safe from a Bloodstained Corduroy







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