Sure, everyone at Stanford seems nice: the RAs, your professors, non-sketchy grad students -- and make no mistake, for the most part they genuinely are. There is only one force of true evil on this campus (at least 'til Rumsfeld gets here) and its name is Stanford Housing.

The same group of people who have the time and resources to charge you $150 for a ten-year-old scratch in the paint in your room will somehow always manage to lack the resources to give you your room key when you try to move in. Even if the key is sitting six inches in front of them. Sometimes, just for funsies, they will also randomly rekey your room during Winter Break.

Although there's no cure to their shenanigans, the only way to get back at these landlords from hell is through subtle sabotage. Feel free to singe your carpets, paint the ceiling and even (gasp) use wall tack to hold up those posters. Just make sure to report any damage you think your room might suffer in the coming year before you fill out your annual room status report. That way they'll blame the damages on the suckers who lived there before you.