When I think of Black Friday, I imagine throngs of Virginians scaling the outer walls of Wal-Mart, the weekly circular clutched in their sweaty palms. It’s five a.m., and overly confident and overfed ladies (not unlike those Thanksgiving Turkeys lain out on their tables the night before) are kicking up dust on the sidewalk with their hooves, mentally prepping their route to the latest Elmo toy. Though, this image is what has kept me out of the south on this day, and Wal-Mart on any day, I am ashamed to say that this scenario is closer to home than one would speculate.

They say it’s darkest just before dawn, and this morning, outside of the Wal-mart in Valley Stream, this couldn’t be more accurate. Yes, Long Island, not Virginia or even Binghamton for that matter. Long Island—a place where we pride ourselves in being a civilized and sophisticated people. Though, at 5 a.m. this morning, a 34-year-old Wal-mart employee was trampled to death by a stampede of hundreds of Long Islanders. Not only did the crowd ignore his body beneath his feet, but customers continued to enter the store as the man was being worked on, though he was clearly dead. A few others were injured, including a pregnant woman who was taken to the hospital for observations.
 

So, I suppose this is a lesson to us, that this kind of Black Friday myth isn't exclusive to the boondocks of West Virginia, but also right here in the Metropolitan area.  I guess we can't judge anymore.