In late November, I read a post on Jezebel by Hortense, “Where’s Our Stand by Me?” And while this was a beautifully written piece—the fact that I am still pondering it weeks after I first read it, just goes to show how thoughtful it was—I can’t help but disagree with some of her points.

Essentially, Hortense argues that the 1986 movie Stand by Me is an authentic portrayal of the bond between 12-year-old boys—a coming-of-age-movie that lacks all the clichés that tend to drive most young female-oriented films. She expresses envy that our gender has been deprived of a film that captures the essence of the 12 year old girl. She goes on to suggest that the 1995 film, Now and Then, while still falling short, is the closest comparable film to Stand by Me.   Upon making the statement that, unlike Stand by Me, Now and Then is “a stereotypical mess,” she breaks down the characters of the movie, claiming that they are merely pigeonholing exaggerated female standards into “the tomboy, the eccentric, the goody-goody caretaker, and the sex-crazed daughter of rich, absent, flighty parents who seeks…fame and fortune.” Now this is where our views differ. Yes, it is true that these characters feel a bit like filling a quota, but how is that different, at all, from Stand by Me? The way I see it, you’ve got the bad ass, the writer—who happens to be retelling the story through his/her memoir, the moderately overweight kid, and the attention craving only child with deep-seated daddy issues.

Sure the acting is a bit more real in Stand by Me; after all the film was an adaptation of a Stephen King novel, certainly not meant for the eyes of twelve year old boys (It’s actually rated R), while Now and Then is the epitome of the sleepover chick bonding flick. And yes, Stand by Me is definitely more realistic in that the boys grow apart during their later school years, while, according to Hortense, the characters in Now and Then simply become “older, taller versions of their 12 year old selves.” Let’s not forget that Now and Then is marketed toward 12 year olds.

In all honesty, if I knew then what I know now about some of the friends I had when I was 12, I would not have invested so much time into our friendship. When I was 12, if I was lead to believe that in just a few short years, we would, by an inevitable force of reality, grow apart, I would not have been watching Now and Then, from the comfort of my sleeping bag, with these people. If I knew then that we would all change to such a severe extent, my outlook on life would have been rather grim for a maturing young lady. And, really, who cares if Now and Then is cliché? Because let’s face it, 12 year old girls are clichéd “stereotypical messes.” Feel free to refute this statement, but if you’ve ever watched Now and Then at a group sleepover or attempted “light as a feather, stiff as a board” after watching The Craft, you’ve already proved my point.

In the moment, we wanted to believe that the plot of Now and Then was an attainable destiny. We wanted to believe that we would be friends forever—“all for one and one for all.” As 12 year old girls, we needed that reassurance, even if it was a false one. We needed to know that, even in our adult lives, if we ever found ourselves in a dilemma, a pact we made when we were 12 was reason enough to bring us together. While this idea isn’t as raw as growing up to have your childhood biff stabbed in a bar fight (the untimely fate of River Phoenix’s character in Stand by Me), that’s certainly not what a 12 year old wants to look forward to--is it?