This brilliant student documentary, produced for a freshman English class, attempts to answer the eternal question, “Do people actually pee in the Old Well?” Of course it completely fails to answer that question; its shocking conclusion seems to be “lots of people think so, but the three people we interviewed hadn’t personally seen it.” Gosh, that’s a load off my mind.

But the film’s overall suckitude doesn’t actually matter that much, because the narrator sounds eerily like a young John Hodgman. Like, no, really, listen to it. It’s ****ING EERIE!

Sadly, Junior Hodgman did not deliver the film’s brilliant ultimate line:

“If the Old Well is romantic enough for a marriage proposal, then it must smell pleasing. Now, we have to ask ourselves, why on earth would a man propose to his future wife at a Port-A-Potty? Maybe the myth about the Old Well isn’t true at all.”

Y’all, that is just impeccable logic right there.