How to Cheat and Get Away With It

By JPW
Tags: to, how to, how, cheating, girlfriend problems

Blog this post

To include this post in your blog, just cut and paste the code below:

HTML:
<div align="center"><img src="http://www.collegeotr.com/images/blogs/072267d1d944e1e13a85c3217c44d3c7.jpg" class="blog_img" alt="How to Cheat and Get Away With It" /></div><div class="clear" style="height:10px"></div><p>I don’t condone cheating. I've onl</p>... <b>[ <a href="http://www.collegeotr.com/syracuse_university/how_to_cheat_on_your_girlfriend_and_get_away_with_it_9199">READ THE FULL POST AT OTR »</a> ]</b>

Email this post

Please complete the form below to send this post to a friend:

Your email:

To:

Message (optional):

Report this post

Have a problem with the image or content or this post? Let us know and we'll take care of it:

Your name:

Your email:

Problem:

Created: 06/12/2008
05:20 AM

I don’t condone cheating. I've only ever done it once, and I felt horrible afterwards.

My old college roommate, however, is a different story. He cheated profusely on his girlfriend and never got caught. I was pretty impressed with his ability to pull it off, so I took copious notes. Here's what I learned:

Rule # 1: Erase Your Conscience
The first thing you need to do is eliminate your conscience. Say goodbye to that nagging little voice inside of you that questions your actions. Let your penis (or, love nub if you're a woman) lead the way. Once you’ve done this, you won’t believe how much easier it is to cheat.

Rule # 2: Watch Out For Facebook (and MySpace)!
My roommate accidentally let himself get tagged in a photo embracing another girl. It took him a lot of strategic maneuvering to talk his way out of it.

Rule # 3: Lie, Lie, Lie!
Sometimes I’d be in the next room and hear my roommate’s girlfriend ask him if he was cheating on her. What surprised me most was his level of calmness when he lied. Being calm when confronted with a tough question is key. Having friends that are willing to cover for you helps too.

Rule # 4: Don’t Get Two Girls Living In the Same Dorm
This is one rule that my roommate didn’t follow, and the results were disastrous.
My roommate had a girlfriend living in a far off dorm, but, because he’s perhaps the horniest kid in the world, he wanted something a little closer to home. So he went out and got a girlie that lived in our dorm. All was well, for a while. Then the girlie in our dorm wasn’t around enough, so he went out and got another girlie from our dorm. The two girls ended up meeting each other, and so my roommate lost both of them (but kept his original girlfriend).

Rule # 5: Smother Your Girlfriend With Attention
My roommate did this accidentally, but in actuality it was the perfect plan. He would constantly call her, ask to hang out with her and want to be with her (he’s the neediest kid in the world). As a result, she would constantly wish for more space. The space gave him the opportune time to cheat.
 

Rule # 6: Say Sorry
Tell her you’re sorry when you give her herpes.