So for you freshmen, by now Tritonlink should be your new BFF after having picked classes. You've probably seen the mandatory e-CHUG Alcohol Assessment that provides you with an "accurate and detailed," but mostly judgmental, assessment of your alcohol use. Take it, because you have to anyway, to find out what a horrible and life-threatening lifestyle you'll be leading. (And exactly how many cheeseburgers worth of calories you consume during Welcome Week. That'll explain the Freshmen 15 to you.)

P.S.: Survey results indicate that: 7% percent of University of California San Diego students smoke marijuana at least once a month. (Really? Only 7%? What do the rest of you do? Is that why the Ultimate Frisbee team is so big?)