Do you ever have those days when nothing, not even an ice-cream sundae or a shot of Absolut, can make you feel happy? Maybe you’ve been cooped up in Van Pelt for 56 hours straight, or maybe your roommate kept you up all night with her sleep-talking (that is not a hidden message to you, DanglingParticiple!).

Did I miss something? Why are there adorable puppies and squeaky toys all over my office? Oh dear lord, is there such a thing as Bring Your Dog To Work Day? Yes, yes there is. Sucks to your ass-mar if you are allergic to pet dander; puppies are so much better than small children!