I’ve known for quite some time that I wouldn’t want Tom Cruise as my dad. One, he’s short. And doesn’t everyone hate short people? Two, I wouldn’t want my dad dancing around the house in tighty whities. And now reason three has been revealed: he’s a selfish and unsupporting prick who chose promoting Valkyrie over son Connor Cruise's film debut.

MORE »

Tom Cruise may have gotten his big break back in 1981’s Endless Love, but he’s still a busy guy, and not just because of his responsibilities as a dad, a Scientologist superstar, and an actor-producer. Of late he’s been much in the public eye, and so we present This Week in Tom Cruise News. It rhymes.

1) Judge George Eskin issued a restraining...

MORE »

In Christian lore, Jesus saved humanity from eternal damnation. In Tom Cruise’s alternate universe, Scientology saved him from illiteracy. He has actually told XL Semanal that at eighteen, when most American kids are college bound, he couldn’t exactly read. Luckily, the powers of sci-fi writer/Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard intervened in the...

MORE »

L. Ron Hubbard protégée Tom Cruise has lost his Blackberry in Toronto, and since Barbara Walters has named him one of her Ten Most Fascinating People of 2008, I know you’re all tearing-out-your-hair curious about what some unsuspecting Canadian will find on said smartphone. Perhaps Spencer Pratt’s e-mail address so that Cruise can provide him wi...

MORE »