Carmichael Dining Hall, you've done it again! You never fail to inundate mine ears with the craziest snatches of inane conversations ever to grace human lips. Tufts may have terrible meal plan options, but eating on campus is totally worth it to hear things like this:

Girl: You know that guy in our IR recitation?
Guy: The bald one with glasses?
Girl: Yeah, that's him. The one with the fake British accent.
Guy: Ugh, I hate that guy. He looks like a bearded penis.

And there you have it, Tufts University: a "bearded penis" with a fake British accent. 'Nuff said.