After being egged on by one anonymous commenter who demanded a post of a hot girl after I posted about the Frenchie, I decided to sit down analyze the ladies of 2011.

It can't be that hard to find one excessively bangable chick, can it?

WRONG.
SO WRONG, THAT I AM DRAWING A SCIENTIFIC CONCLUSION.

Experiment: Finding a hot freshman at Tufts.
Hypothesis: There has to be at least one, come on.
Procedure: Relentless Facebook photo research.

Data: After going through literally 101 pages of the Class of 2011 Facebook group, my findings were (even with my extremely low standards, after all, I go to Tufts):

1) Only two girls who I remotely considered posting...

1a) ...Only to come back from lunch to look at them again and be appalled my original consideration

2) The only other remotely attractive girls all have private profiles

Conclusion: **** this, I'm transferring to Miami.