First of all, can college students in Boston be any more pompous and annoying?

A friend of mine sent me this post on Stalker'sList (AKA "I want to meet someone for sex NOW and then get murdered"-List). At first I was appalled at the audacity and outright absurdity of the post:

"Seeking high energy, devoted, and motivated Boston-area college student for this highly competitive personal assistant internship. I need someone who is independent, organized, self-motivated, energetic, smart, resourceful, happy, above all trustworthy and loyal.

This is an easy, fun, and glamorous position, granting access to the friendship and luxurious lifestyle of campus celebrities and high-powered campus leaders. To do the job well, you must apply good organizational skills, tact, diplomacy, effective communication skills, and excellent judgment.

You must be able to devote 10-15 hours per week, plus the occasional night and weekend. Hours are generally flexible. Duties include scheduling, phone responsibilities, email monitoring, and social networking. Minor note-taking and memo-writing also.

Opportunities for learning and advancement available. Excellent networking opportunities as well. Intern will accompany me to events, assist with social contacts, and help with various parts of field operations. Past networking opportunities have included: Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Dennis Kucinich, Barbara Bush, Jenna Bush, George H.W. Bush, Peter Jennings and others.

Perfect for those seeking a hands-on experience and interested in making contacts in the Boston area.

Good sense of humor a must. Fluency in Spanish a plus.

Perks include the chance to work in television production and a behind-the-scenes look at the creation and reporting of our daily newspaper. Meals and transportation from the T provided for free.

If you wish to be considered, email a resume, cover letter, and a photo (I'd like the person to be presentable as I'll on occasion be hosting parties, and other social events, etc).Respond with questions."

Then it dawned on me how much of a pathetic attempt at getting some lonely freshman ass this post was. Who are they kidding? "Hands-on experience," "Opportunities for learning and advancement available," etc. But my favorite part is that it is an internship, ergo unpaid.

Jesus, if only I had thought of this myself…