Most Yalies brave the streets of New Haven each weekend, but New Haven in the summer is a different animal.  Last night, I passed a very important milestone in my Yale career - it was 1am and I was tired from playing hours of Guitar Hero II, so I called the mini-bus escort service for the first time.

A uniformed police officer, seemingly desperate for human interaction, picked me up from the corner of Dwight and Edgewood and talked my ear off during the 10-minute ride to Stiles. (One topic of conversation: the fact that maybe someone wouldn’t want to mug me because I am an Asian girl which implies I might know judo.)

Which led me to wonder: what do Yale cops do?

These are my only memories of Yale police officers:
1) Riding around Old Campus on bikes, while wearing helmets (setting a good example).
2) One night, some drunkies were walking back to campus from Beta with Keystone in red solo cups. One guy was wearing a bra and a pair of pants. A cop a few yards away shouted at them, so they paused and waited for the cop to command them to pour their beer on the sidewalk. As he caught up to the group, all he had to say was, “Nice bra, man.”
3) A cop shows up to break up a party. The hostess, for some reason, is sporting a neckbrace. This is their conversation:
Neckbrace hostess: “Verrrry niiice!”
Yale cop: “Greaaaat success!!!”
4) Overheard by a friend, Yale cop: “I wish I was even one tenth as smart as you guys.”

Makes you feel safe, doesn’t it?