I've been reflecting on my Tuftonian experience since I've graduated, and one thing I realized is how fleepin' wise I've gotten.  It's just incredible  how much knowledge I've acquired, and this wisdom brings the responsibility to share it with all you pleibes.   More specifically, I'll be sharing the things I've been most grateful for that only our fine institution can provide.

As any good drug dealer knows, it's best to catch your target audience early and often, so this post will be the first in a series directed specifically towards prefrosh, who probably hopefully will hear about this awesome! blog on the Connection 2012 Forum (is that even around anymore?).  They will realize that those forums are GARBAGE and FULL OF LIES, not to mention SO NOT FUN, so they might as well make this page their homepage right now. 

Anyway, my absolute number one best gift handed to me the very first week in school was getting REJECTED BY ALL OF THE A CAPELLA GROUPS.  Not even a callback.  Tell me if I'm wrong, prefrosh quaids, but the a capella groups are the only good things that Tufts has to offer, especially if you listen to

• tour guides
  
• other prefrosh
  
• overnight hosts
  
• April Open House anything
  
• any orientation week event
  
• major news media
  

At first, I was absolutely crushed.  As anyone who knows of me knows, I am the best in the world at everything I do at all times. I was voted Best Voice in my high school class for Gosh's sake!  Welcome to Tufts, prefrosh quaids.  You're mediocre here.  But luckily for me, I didn't drown in tears in my sleep like a domesticated turkey in a rainstorm.  Nay; I metaphorically picked my shaméd head up, and found the wonderful glorious offerings Tufts offers: Beer!  Friends!  Free time!  Free will!   Here's just a partial list of things I was able to do untethered by the burden of a capella:

1. Be one of the faces and forces of Tufts' objectively best group, Major: Undecided Sketch Comedy
2. Save Hatian refugee orphans over winter break
3. Rebuild New Orleans over Spring Break
4. Star in a kickass rock musical minor, and not even sing doo doo dat dot doo the whole time
5. Choose my friends
6. Be the lead singer of a sweet band
7. Not be crushed by hordes of attractive people merely wanting  an autograph, handshake, or a simple infarction-inducing glance in their approximate direction
   
8. Et cetera

 Tufts kids are good at channeling bitterness due to rejection from top notch and overrated shizz (ivy leagues i'm subtle) to become bitter but lovable megalomaniacs like TLS, as well as have a completely awesome freshman year.  A capellatr0nz are huge quaids anyway (not the Jills I love them).