Apparently someone IS reading OTR: the prefroshes we're mocking. Whoops. Some of them bruise easier than the fruit in Dewick, apparently. Don't worry, froshies: we make fun of seniors and alums, too. Plus, we may be mocking, but are we not also teaching you valuable survival tips, acknowledging that you're probably smarter than us (hey, maybe we're making fun because we're jealous, you über-smarty-pants, you! ... or maybe it's just because the name Dilday really is kinda funny) and recognizing that some of you are pretty damn hot?

Perhaps this is time for another Pre-Frosh Survival Guide (though you're only pre-froshes for what, two more days?): if it's online, whether it's a Facebook profile or a quote in a Daily article (the archives pop up on Google, by the way... just something to keep in mind), it's there for everyone to see. And mock. At least we're blurring your names... usually. (Hey, Cantwell Faulkner Muckenfuss IV is proud to be mocked for his name ... you can be too!)

Oh, and for those wondering how we have so much time to comb through Facebook profiles ... we're getting paid for this, bitches.