Words of wisdom to dumb frosh everywhere: when you're being approached by cops, don't pull liquor out of your pants. It's just really not a smart thing to do.

It leads to so many questions! Like, "how did you purchase that liquor? How did that liquor get into your pants in the first place? Were you hoping that water bottle full of Ronrigo would create some sort of optical illusion and make your junk look bigger? And isn't that sort of unhygienic?"

Oh, and probably most importantly, "how about I arrest you and take your fake ID?"

One officer asked a particularly idiotic freshman all of these questions this January, just after spotting the twatwaffle kicking a harmless mountain bike in front of Felipe's.

For full details, read the police log. However, the only crucial piece of information is that the dude pulled his booze stash out of his tighty whiteys in front of a cop. Ten bucks says this guy ends up in the Delphic. Sigh.