Loyola Marymount University has decided that it will no longer allow outdoor student events, because “events outside pose a greater safety risk.” Yeah, like sunburn. Instead of treating students like adults and telling them the real reasoning behind the decision (noise complaints), the school would rather insist upon pretending that outdoor events are frightening shark-infested, anthrax-permeating, gonorrhea-dripping riots.

According to the Los Angeles Loyolan:

A new LMU policy prohibiting large student-run events from being held outdoors will prevent ASLMU from hosting College Fest in Sunken Garden this spring.

The new policy was created by Senior Vice President of Student Affairs Dr. Lane Bove. After fielding several complaints from neighbors after College Fest in March, as well as taking into account the safety of students during large outdoor events such as concerts, she and her team of administrators decided to move the concerts indoors.

 

"Campus safety has become an ever increasing concern for colleges and universities across the country," said Bove. "Here in Los Angeles, we have the added complexity of being located in a large metropolitan area. Events held outside pose a greater safety risk to our students than indoor events.”

Whatevs. LMU just lost one of the major perks of attending a west coast school. And now the likelihood of the campus becoming a frightening shark-infested, anthrax-permeating, gonorrhea-dripping riot has just shot up since certainly many students will be incensed by the decision.