By fall 2009, Yale hopes to hire their first-ever director of alcohol and substance abuse initiatives director.

According to administrators, the AASAI director will be tasked with raising awareness of substance abuse on campus and providing resources/information to the student body, not enforcing Yale’s alcohol and drug laws.

In other words, he’s not an enforcer, just someone extremely knowledgeable of the subject matter.

With that in mind, here’s a list of film characters that are perfect candidates for the position:

1. Frank the Tank (Will Ferrell) – If there’s anyone that knows alcohol, it’s the beer-funneling expert Frank the Tank from Old School.

2. Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) – When you think of Santa Claus, you think of a jolly fat man in a red and white suit. In Bad Santa, however, he’s an angry, flask-toting drunk.

3. Hancock (Will Smith) – There’s nothing more dangerous than a superhero drunk. And so, for fear of angering the new AASAI director, students will willingly abide by the University’s alcohol and substance abuse guidelines.

4. Thurgood Jenkins (Dave Chappelle) – Every collegiate stoner has seen Half Baked, and if you haven’t, you should. If Thurgood was the new AASAI, stoners from around the country would flock to the Ivy League.

5. Saul Silver (James Franco) – In Pineapple Express, friendly neighborhood pot-dealer, Saul Silver, introduces Dale Denton (Seth Rogen) to new and exotic types of marijuana. Clearly, his wealth of knowledge would be invaluable at Yale.

6. Harold and Kumar (John Cho and Kal Penn) – On their epic journey to White Castle, these two pot-smoking friends came across all forms of debauchery, making them world-class experts in the field of alcohol and substance abuse – among other things.

7. Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott) – Having drank a cup of beer with semen in it, no one can deny that American Pie’s Stifler knows how to appreciate the taste and texture of all types of beer, and armed with that knowledge, he will educate America’s youth.

8. Barry Badrinath (Jay Chandrasekhar) – Drinking games are a staple of the college experience, and no one is better at them than Beerfest’s Barry – as long as he is heavily intoxicated.