Freshmen beware: there’s a lot of (bad) advice out there. In fact, googling “advice for college freshmen” yields almost 2 million hits.

Tracy Loope's advice piece in the Independent Florida Alligator is among them and covers topics as "wide-ranging" as the best place to get a haircut and the best way to cure a hangover.

First of all, thank you, Tracy, for providing the addresses for multiple locations of Supercuts but, FYI, anyone who doesn’t know how to use a phonebook or dial 411 probably also didn’t read your article.

Furthermore, you really shouldn't claim that vitamin supplements will cure a hangover—pills of any kind are risky on an empty, alcohol-ravaged stomach. Vitamins are typically regurgitated immediately, usually still intact. Yucky.

Regardless of Loope’s grievous errors, the Alligator does address one pressing issue that faces freshmen women everywhere: the army of older guys ready to capitalize on naïve freshmen ass by buying them booze.

In the words of the infamous Paige Usyk: “Trading sex for alcohol is really not cool, let alone worth the trip to get a herpes test.”