Last Wednesday morning, the most stereotypical bum fight occurred near the Yanonali Labor Line. Two homeless men, Crispulo Sanchez and Santana Delgado Hernandez, got into an altercation over a stolen bicycle. Hernandez confronted Sanchez about his lost property with a broken forty. When he apparently didn't get the information he so desperately needed, Hernandez proceeded to stab Sanchez in the arm with his gnarly jagged hobo knife.

The perp fled the scene but was later found just chillin’ in a creek bed with blood on his jacket. He gave a false name to the police, but was detained nonetheless and later identified by Sanchez as the hobo that had stabbed him.

The moral of this story: hobos are badass and will shank you over a missing bicycle. And that is a scientific fact.