If you can't find something cheap and awesome to do every day between June and September in the five boroughs, then you aren't really trying. But we know you're lazy, which is why we're giving away all the best secrets (seriously, this is the freaking motherload).

Live music. It's hard to get through summer without discovering some great new band or seeing one of your old favorites without spending a dime. There's Central Park Summerstage, the McCarren Park Pool (and slip'n slide) Parties, Prospect Park Summerstage, South Street Seaport, River to River and the Siren Festival at Coney Island. It's kind of ridiculous. Check out Columbia darlings Vampire Weekend kick off the music season on June 14.

Nonsense NYC. Jeff Stark and the rest of the Nonsense guys know all the weirdest things going on in New York, from Rubulad loft parties to Grub dinners and Bike Kills. If you've never been, or you have no idea what I'm talking about, you need to sign up now. Not all events are free but most are at least very cheap.

Rooftop Films. From now through the end of September, these guys will be screening short and feature-length films at over a dozen locations across the city (not all of which are on rooftops, sorry). Tickets for some shows are $6 when you buy them online ahead of time.

The theat-re, darling. All right, if you're not a fan, just move along, there's nothing to see here. This is by far the priciest option on this list, and is only for the most devoted fans. But for some shows, standing room tickets or last-minute lottery tickets are available for cheap(er). Check it out if you swing that way.

Botanic gardens. Parks are nice in the summer when you're too lazy to get to the beach and want to hang out with everyone else who's too lazy to get there, too. But if you want a more quiet outdoor escape from the summer craziness, try one of New York's amazing botanic gardens instead. Tuesdays and Saturday mornings are free at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, and Wednesdays and Saturday mornings are at the New York branch.

Water Taxi Beach. This Long Island City sandy oasis sure is a hell of a lot closer than Coney. The trick is knowing when this diamond in the rough is free and when they're charging $10 to hear some crappy DJ. Weekday afternoons are better. Bonus points for sneaking in your own alcohol.

Art museum air conditioning. In the sweltering dead of summer, they keep the art museums at a cool 68 for the cardigan-wearing yuppies. Soak it in.

• MoMA is free Fridays 4 p.m. - 8 p.m.
• The New Museum is free Thursdays from 7 p.m. - 10 p.m.
• The Brooklyn Museum is free the first Saturday of every month from 5 p.m. - 11 p.m.
• The Met always costs as much as you're willing to pay. (That can mean $1 if you're as cheap as I am.)
• And get $3 off admission to the Sex Museum. Hot.

Artsy dance party. Contemporary art museum PS1 sponsors a dance party every weekend throughout the summer with DJs and refreshments. Come sweat with some of the coolest people in the outer boroughs. $2 gets you admission to the museum and the party. 2008 schedule coming soon.

And, of course, drinking. If you're motivated enough, and you have a full Metrocard, you can get trashed for free any night of the week in lower Manhattan. It will probably be on crappy vodka, but when you're young and in New York City and you have money in your pocket, I think you'll get over tomorrow morning's stomach ache.