As students return (or arrive for the first time) to school over the next few days, the board of regents seems to want to make it abundantly clear that, if they drink, they will die.

Maybe that’s a bit of a hyperbole, but they are definitely not being subtle with their point. UW-Madison has launched a huge campaign aimed at incoming freshmen in an attempt to teach them the consequences of irresponsible drinking.

Indeed, massive amounts of drinking have led to several deaths and injuries recently. But the list of effects of alcohol on the body would make even the most fervent dude-bro reconsider his Saturday afternoon Edward 40-Hands tradition.

But come on guys, who are these freshmen going to listen to: a well-crafted e-mail from an old dude named Wiley, or a loud 230-pound roommate with beer bong in hand?