Most of us have seen “The Little Mermaid”, a documentary film by the Disney company aimed to raise awareness about mermaids and how much they enjoy collecting human items. The film’s message is clear and simple: throw things onto the beach so that, when the high tides carry them out to sea, our finny friends can put them in their collections and sing songs about them.

Obviously I.V. residents are among the best contributors to the mermaid way of life, but the Surfrider Foundation and volunteers from Citrix Online want to change all of that. They held an Isla Vista beach clean up last week. Notable discarded items included furniture remnants, alcohol bottles, laptops, and a full bottle of A1 steak sauce. Thirty trash bags were required to contain the 350 pounds of garbage.

Thanks a lot, environmentally-conscious volunteers! How is Ariel supposed to sing about A1 now? Luckily the heroes of I.V. care about their friends in seashell lingerie, and are doing all they can to ensure the beach returns to its former state. “I do it all for the mermaids,” one DP resident was heard to say, as he tossed an empty beer can from his balcony. He then burped to indicate the depth of his concern.