Students, take note.

If you're scared to even sneeze at a school event now thanks to UPD, we found a few tips on how to save your ass from being zapped at a site called CampusGrotto. Maybe we take a little offense that they call themselves "The Inside Source at College," (that's what we are) but they're funny enough to share:

1. Don't exercise your freedom of speech.
2. Understand that you have no rights whatsoever.
3. Understand that the campus security guard/police is not in a correct state of mind, as he is abusing his authority.
4. Don't Question Authority, no matter how wrong and out of place they are.
5. Don't ask controversial questions or be politically opinionated.
6. Note that after initial Confrontation, if you say "you will leave the premises", you will continue to be tasered.
7. Even after being pinned down and restrained by campus police, means you will probably be tasered.
8. Note that a campus officer will make any little incident worse than it is and escalate the incident.
9. If it is a campus "security guard", expect an abuse of power.
10. Note that if officers do remove you from the premises, you will be pulled, dragged, thrown to the ground and tasered while trying to handcuff you to make it appear that you are resisting.