The end of 2008 isn’t just about looking back on this year’s big events, but about looking forward to a shiny new 2009. Here are the most likely big news events for the coming year:

NBC will realize that they shot themselves in the foot when their new late night lineup fails spectacularly. Come on, guys, no one likes Jimmy Fallon.

Amy Winehouse will die. This is probably the surest bet considering the amount and variety of drugs this woman uses on a daily basis, not to mention her vehement refusal to go to rehab.

Young stars will step up to replace our retired trainwrecks (Britney, Paris, Nicole and Lindsay). Miley Cyrus, we’re looking at you.

Brad and Angelina will have another set of twins and adopt another multicultural baby.

Jennifer Aniston will become a nun after John Mayer comes out of the closet, and she realizes no one else will ever do her.

Michael Cera will get blacklisted after the Arrested Development movie gets made without him. But don’t worry, you can see George Michael Bluth in Superbad, Juno his eventual reality TV show on E!

Heidi and Spencer will die shockingly after being hit by a semi during an impromptu photoshoot in the middle of a highway. We can only hope…

After another three main characters leave “Grey’s Anatomy,” the show will be reworked and marketed as “ER: After Death,” and will star the ghost of Mekhi Phifer.

Finally, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will probably be the divorce of the year. Oh just kidding, she’s under contract for three more years.

We’re all looking forward to a fun and scandalous 2009 and we hope you ring it in accordingly.