Prude Guy: I don't really masturbate.
Girl: What?! As a man you should kill yourself. As a human, you should
be ashamed!

Someone doesn't understand drinking games:
Girl who doesn't think before she speaks: I can't think of anything to say.
Friend: Say "Never have I ever videotaped myself having sex."
Girl who doesn't think before she speaks: No, 'cause then I have to drink!

Chatterbox: I say a lot of different things during sex.
Friend: Yeah, but too much talking kills it
Chatterbox: Well, I don't have an essay!

Girl #1: So she got laid?
Girl #2: Yeah, but it was unsuccessful again. They started and then he
went soft.
Girl #1: WTF is wrong with him?
Girl #2: Erectile dysfunction.

All these years of "That's what she said" and no one thought to reply with this?
Girl: Stop hogging the blanket.
Guy: It's a small blanket.
Girl: It's not that small.
Guy: That's what she said.
Girl: She lied.

Catching up with old high school friends, always a good time:
"Fun fact. This guy she used to like in high school who was kind of an
**** to her is in gay porn now. And she bought it!"

Girl: I've known this guy since elementary school and to this day, he
grabs his balls constantly.
Guy: Whatever, man. I love my penis.

Girl whose plan to get laid failed: I was kinda hoping the weather
would be bad and I would have to stay over. But then the weather was
awesome so I got ****ed over.
Friend: Instead of ****ed.

Curious girl: Should I be worried about getting colon cancer from anal sex?
Girl who is not so curious: What you do have to worry about is the
fact that it hurts like a bitch.