Student Gets Fondled in Dorm Elevator

Student Gets Fondled in Dorm Elevator
Maybe not voluntarily.

On Saturday morning, the hunt was on for a man accused of "fondling" a female student in the elevator of Hillenbrand Hall around 2 a.m.

Above left is a composite of the assaulter. The right is Alfred E. Newman.

See the resemblance?

The black spots on the composite head are suppose to the "acne scars" described by the victim, but somehow they turned into massive drawn-on freckles that puts Alfred's to shame.

Freshman George O. was arrested at his dorm later in the afternoon after the police were tipped off by two witnesses.

Unfortunately, no Facebook nor police photos are currently available to verify the accuracy of the composite.

Shame.

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