Everyone loves knocking back drinks and having some fun, but where there is alcohol, there is one of these five people who are intent on killing your buzz:

1. The Angry Drunk. This type of drunk can usually be spotted vandalizing apartments or cars in a fit of rage for little to no reason at all. They are usually of the male and violent variety and they are definitely not someone you wanna hit the bars with because they will start a fight with anyone and everyone who they think looks at them the wrong way. Trying to talk some sense into an angry drunk will only piss them off more so the best thing to do is to avoid those people altogether.

 

2. The Sad Drunk. The sad drunk is a little bit like the angry drunk but easier to ignore. They definitely both fall into the category of inappropriate drunk over-emotionality. This person starts crying as soon as they’re buzzed. It only gets worse the more they drink, from crying quietly in a corner to full on sobbing. They’ll always tell you they’re fine when they’re clearly not. If you want to keep having a good time, take their word for it and move on.

 

3. The Sick Drunk. The only thing worse than someone trying to make you their therapist, is them making you their own personal janitor. If you can’t hold your liquor, or at least hold your vomit long enough to do it outside or in the toilet, then you should start thinking about other forms of getting wasted, like sniffing glue or something. This person doesn’t know their limits and is going to ignore you when you try to tell them their limit is the last shot they took. You can find this person sitting in a puddle of their own vomit. You’ll want to avoid giving them rides or inviting them to your place to drink.

 

4. The Talkative Pseudointellectual Drunk. Every party has this downer. They never know anyone else and they always want to talk your ear off about what they’re studying or theories about the meaning of life. I can’t even stomach philosophy sober, much less when I’ve had a few drinks. And if I was one of those people that wanted to talk about school in my spare time, I would have killed myself years ago, for the good of mankind. I know you love hearing yourself speak, but you’re the only one.

 

5. The Too-drunk-to-**** Drunk. This drunk is marked by the incessant desire and attempts to get laid and the complete inability to get it up. If you’re gonna put that much work into it, don’t drink yourself retarded. These people are always desperate and sloppy, and extremely obnoxious. And there’s nothing worse than putting up with that only to realize, it’s just not gonna happen.

There are many ways to have a good time on a Saturday night and these are the five people that will ruin it. Avoid them like herpes.