You know, when The Daily first reported that a student was robbed at gunpoint on Friday night, the news wasn't exactly comforting. Campus crime is up a whopping 330% and last spring a serial rapist terrorized the Hillsides. But you know, what? After reading this article, it turns out that armed robbery is totally hilarious:

Asked to turn over his cell phone and his laptop, the victim, the ironically named Jason Safer, apparently had the gall to ask his armed assailants for his SIM Card back. When asked why he did so, the student replied, "I don't know why - they have a gun pointed to me - [but] I'm like, 'Oh, I don't want to start one of these Facebook groups.'"

Totally understandable, Jumbos. The creation of mildly embarrassing Facebook groups is higher up on the list of biological imperatives than avoiding getting shot. Congratulations, Jason -- you either have balls of steel or you're just lucky that Somerville's finest criminals don't want to read your stupid text messages.