"The cold weather just doesn't bother me,"  [source]

We definitely don't check out The Onion often enough (although we do visit The A.V. Club often). If you're not familiar with The Onion then you have more serious problems ... but it's satirical newspaper which, according to Wikipedia, has a print circulation of 710,000 - pretty impressive for fake news. What makes it even better, they're covering a Penn State problem what we told you about weeks ago.

Last month, we commented that a temperature dip into the low 30s and a wintry mix meant it was time to start wearing pants and what most people consider "winter clothing." So, imagine our surprise when we saw headline in The Onion reading "Overweight College Student Announces Plans To Wear Shorts, Sandals For Rest Of Year," dateline State College, PA!

The article is about Kyle Norton (he doesn't exist, don't bother looking) an overweight freshman at Penn State who recently announced (in Pollock dining hall btw) that he would forgo wearing pants for the remainder of the year, and instead stick with the sandals/shorts/t-shirt/sweatshirt look. He's no even going to wear a coat.

Everyone knows this guy. His name might not be "Kyle Norton" but you definitely know someone who insists on wearing shorts deep into the winter because he either claims "I don't feel the cold," or is trying to show off that awesome Boba Fett tattoo running up his left leg. It's time for an intervention with these people.

As Kyle Norton says in The Onion, "I always hated when my mom made me wear shoes and pants in high school," Norton said. "Now that I am in college I am free to wear whatever I want, whenever I want. For the first time in my life, I don't feel so constricted."

You tell your mom who's boss Kyle!