Last week, Princeton Public Safety released their 2008 Annual Security Report, and as it turns out, Princetonians aren’t innocent nerd-saints, after all. They’re alcohol-guzzling deviants – well, just a small handful of them.

According to the report, the number of alcohol-related violations on campus increased from 20 in 2006 to a whopping 120 in 2007, a magnitude of six.

At first glance, the spike may suggest that debauchery is on the rise at the school, but it’s actually not. The surge in reported on-campus violations is a direct result of the administration’s increased efforts to actively police alcohol consumption.

In other words, Princeton students aren’t drinking more; they’re simply getting caught more.

The Daily Princetonian reports:

In a footnote to the Annual Security Report, [Director of Public Safety Steven] Healy explained that the increase in incidents reported in the 2007 calendar year for liquor-law violations is largely a result of the University’s implementation of a number of initiatives to address high-risk drinking, including Residential Hall Patrol (RHP) by Public Safety and closer monitoring of residential facilities.

Herbold, a member of the Alcohol Coalition Committee, said the rise in the number of incidents might be due to the presence of RHPs, but not to the new guidelines announced last fall requiring RCAs to break up parties and report intoxicated students.

Sorry, Princetonians. You’re no longer safe drinking in the comforts of your dormitory.

Big Brother Public Safety is watching you at all times – even when you masturbate.