Last Friday, the police were called to Foulke Hall on Princeton’s campus after a drunken student refused medical treatment from first aid crews and became unruly.

According to the police report, Thomas Kneeland, 20, began hurling obscenities at the medical team and the officers, before attempting to hide under his bed. When police attempted to take him into custody, a struggle ensued and the Princeton student started flailing his arms, ultimately striking Patrol Officer James Dodd.

Yes – it’s true, even Ivy League students are subject to drunken stupors that lead to idiotic acts, such as resisting arrest.

One would think that an assault charge would be enough for one evening, but no – Kneeland didn’t stop there.

NJ.com reports:

After being strapped to a stretcher and taken to the University Medical Center at Princeton, Kneeland allegedly tried to bite the arm of a nurse treating him, then grabbed the woman's hand and twisted it very hard, police said. The nurse did not require medical treatment.

 

After treatment at the hospital, Kneeland, of Wayne, Pa., was taken to police headquarters where he was charged with felony assault charges against the police officer and nurse.

That’s right – not one, but two felony charges. Guess he wanted to make sure he wasn’t welcome back at Princeton.

Well, either that, or he plans to plead “temporary insanity” in his forthcoming trial by using the old “I thought I was becoming a flesh-eating zombie” defense.

Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.