T-shirts spotted around campus:

1.“I Make Parents Nervous”
This aspiring participant for MTV’s Parental Control has been spotted on the south Quad. Wearing mirrored aviators and a chain wallet, he is sure to make anyone nervous… that they might laugh in his face.

2. “Define Girlfriend”
Someone took Avril Lavigne’s latest hit a little too seriously. Sporting this muscle-t was a frat boy at the library, probably trying to target a mass audience of females. Well done; you have just defined "doucehbag."

3. “Sweet Home Delta Gamma”
This is a disgrace to the song, and Skynyrd would be highly offended. Someone should explain to him it’s the Greek part of being united and unique.