Recently Krispy Kreme decided to offer everybody a free donut on Barack Obama’s inauguration. They announced it as their “Freedom of Choice” campaign.

Now most people probably read this and thought “Hmm, free donut.” If that sounds like what you’re thinking, congratulations, you’re not a crazed Pro-Lifer.

Those people, and I use that phrase in the most derogatory of ways, zeroed in on the wording of “Freedom of Choice” and determined that this was an endorsement for abortions. So apparently the word “choice” is now synonymous with abortion. In all cases. Forget that this inauguration is a reflection of this country’s choice, as are most elections. And forget that the president will make a number of “choices” during his next four years. Some of these choices won’t even remotely concern abortion.

Now if you’re like me, you probably like casual sex, and I like to think that if I accidentally knocked a girl I’d be able to call a mulligan. But if you’re against it I get that. That’s cool. I’m not sure what is more morally correct, the right of an unborn fetus, or the right of a woman to choose. But I do know this: Whatever you choose to do, Krispy Kreme doesn’t care. Not one bit.

I went onto their website, thinking maybe the Pro-Lifers knew something that I didn’t. Maybe Krispy Kreme was a corporation that had done a lot of charity work with the Pro-Choice movement. Maybe there was something in the donuts that cause you to go sterile. I looked for anything that even remotely looked like something concerning abortion. Nothing. Just stuff about donuts.

They don’t care. You can’t link free donuts to abortions. I have no idea what the glaze on the donut is made from but I know what it’s not. And it’s not like the Pro-Choicers can just take the word “choice.” This isn’t like the gay pride movement taking the rainbow, which nobody was really using. You can’t say all decisions are about abortion.

And here’s the amazing part to this whole story. Krispy Kreme apologized for the confusion. I couldn’t believe this. They hadn’t done anything. They were offering a free product, didn’t use any profanity and had their simple words flagrantly misrepresented. My reaction to the Pro-Lifers was “Shut up, morons,” but apparently Krispy Kreme thought they had some merit.

Personally I don’t even like Krispy Kreme. It’s called a glazed donut everybody, calm down. There’s nothing inherently special about it. But when special interest groups tell you that words like “choice” are out of bounds, then we can pretty much give up on the whole “freedom of speech” experiment.

And what is the point of all this? The last time I’d checked abortion was legal. What’s Obama going to do, make it more legal? Mandatory? I can’t see him getting into office, with everything that is currently going on and telling his cabinet, “Look, forget the economy, the two wars and the melting polar ice caps. I’ve got to get this abortion thing settled once and for all.”

God, sometimes people are so stupid. Oops, shouldn’t have said God. I’m sure the atheists are going to blast me now.