“Overjoyed, enraptured, entranced; are we ready? Yes! Good! In we go!” --- I'll be UMD's new Campus Editor. Yahoo for school! Yahoo for me! I hope you enjoy what you find here.

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The First Look Fair – where student groups and the like gather on McKeldin Mall to woo impressionable freshman minds into their organizations. This event unfailingly attracts the same breed of students every year and even though the festivities have passed this semester, I thought the following post might help make sense of what you experienced at your table those two days.

Free-Anything Guy: present every year, no matter class standing; he takes everything he can get… if it’s free. Armed with a giant blue Ikea bag, he’ll take anything from an anti-smoking button to an Indian food coupon.

Free-Shirt Guy: this guy, who’s only after t-shirts, is easy to spot. He’ll be speed walking around with terrible hygiene, pointing at shirts and only speaking the words - “is this free?” The hygiene is the biggest give-away and, coincidentally, the same reason he needs so many shirts.

Sign-Up-For-Everything-To-Make-My-Mom-Happy Guy: this kid will be on at least 75% of the mailing lists that exist at the University. That percentage is so low only because of the various religious and cultural organizations he is not eligible to participate in. It may get his mom off his back for a year or so, but eventually all the junk mail will outweigh that benefit.

I’m-Ready-To-Be-President-Of-This-Club-Already Girl: this personality tends to lend itself more to the female sex. Upon arrival they’re prepared with improvements and are ready to run the show. They’ve also dressed too professionally for the humid weather and are sweating like Ralph Friedgen on the goal line.

And finally…

Army Guy: you’ll find him on the chin-up bar at the Army station because he came to the fair with some girl who lives on his floor that he’s trying to sleep with. This story ends with embarrassment and, eventually, actual enrollment in the Army.

Have you noticed any other characters slinking about the fair?