St. Patrick's Day is the best day of the year in college, and yesterday was no exception. I went to more frat parties yesterday than I have in a verrry long time, so it was a chance to reconnect with those Greeks I ridicule so freely. Here's my day:

8:00 - Wake up, start playing beer pong in the hallway of my apartment building. Write a blog post that reads roughly as jibberish today. Listen to my friend break a window in my neighbors apartment AND the window in the front door of the building. Good start.

12:00 - Head over to Theta Chi. The place is warzone, as expected. A bunch of dudes are sitting around wearing sunglasses and shirts that say "****" on them looking totally sweet (and surprisingly NOT yelling racial slurs at passersby). I head inside only to be greeted by a radiator that is spitting out steam like some sort of angry dragon and the rest of the place looks like it got hit by a hurricane. Outside we realize that Theta Chi has stolen their keg of Killian's from Theta Xi next door. We proceed to drink most of it until a Theta Xi guy comes and asks for it back the way a four-year-old would ask if he can please have a cookie.
Party rating: 4/10

2:00 - Next up is Sigma Nu, which I'm now told was co-hosted by SAE which as anyone who reads this site should know, is  my favorite frat of all time. Despite turning their great dance floor into lame beer pong tables, the party is alright. I head up to the bathroom and when I open the door I hear my name shouted out. Immediately I'm swarmed by a gaggle of Tri-Delts who recognize me as JQ (because apparently I'm facebook friends with half of them). They ask me questions for awhile and one girl tells me that my parents live in a "big ass" house. When I question this statement she says that she looked me up in the directory and Google satellited my address. That's ummm, wow, not really sure actually. We take some cell phone pictures and I get to feel like a celebrity for two seconds. Nice girls, younger pledge classes seem much less bitchy...and less amazonian blonde.
Party rating: 7/10

3:30 - Run into some Pikes at Pancheros. I know one of them and he proceeds to tell the others who I am, prompting evil glares for the duration of my quesadilla lunch. Head over to BTB cantina to escape.

4:00 - Arrive at Phi Psi, but the party has died down significantly. Immediately when we get there we see some guy in an orange and brown suit fighting about six Phi Psi brothers. He drops a few of them and one guy actually faceplants in the street. More brothers come and chase him off the block. Excitement! Inside, most everyone has left, but there's one scrubby looking guy awkwardly dancing with a girl way out of his league. His dance moves are so amazing my friend decides to take a video of it. You may see that posted soon enough.
Party rating: 2/10

5:00 - Nap, dear Lord, nap.

10:30 - Ahh Fiji. I've never been to Fiji before and I'm realizing when people say it's far the hell away that it's really far the hell away. Thankfully we manage to get a cab and fly past all the unfortunate people walking there. At this point I'm slightly, uh, inhibited so when we get to the door and I get asked what house I'm in I say "Johnny Quest" and blow by the door guy like an ****. I'm not sure if he even knew how to respond. Inside, I discover that Fiji is nicer than most sororities I've been in. Seriously, they have a goddamn library. I think the party was co-hosted with Phi Psi and I have no idea what all sororities were there, but it was actually fun, you know, for a frat party. If Fiji was closer they could quickly move up the rankings just based on their nice house alone.
Party ranking: 9/10

So yeah, that was my fratastic St. Patrick's day. Brought back a lot of memories from my earlier years when frat parties were cool, and for a day, they were again. I feel like death and won't be going out on "real" St. Patrick's (Monday), but I was satisfied with how the day turned out, hope you were too.