That's right, after the long and tragic fiasco that's been the planning for graduation, the Daily is reporting that the University has finally come to its senses. First it was Eastern, next Crisler, and finally a run-off between Elbel and the Diag. Although the Big House was said to be officially ruled out, studies that have been ongoing since the original dispute began now say that there is a likely chance that graduation will be held at the Big House. Chuck Lipiznick, construction supervisor on the Big House luxury box project had this to say:

"After months of research and planning, we've discovered that we can open up a portion of the stadium for a very small time window in order to accommodate graduation. It's going to take a lot of work, but these kids have put their time in, so we'll put ours in."

This comes in the wake of senior class's overwhelming backlash to the idea of graduating anywhere but the Big House, which has been a tradition at the school for decades. Also, the Diag, the supposed final location for this year's graduation, has been discovered to have many more problems that initially anticipated. Graduation planning committee chair Renee Provo explains:

"Well, it turns out only about a quarter of the guests will actually be able to see the stage due to all the trees. Also the process of putting plywood down over all the grassy areas is going to detract from the aesthetic beauty of the campus significantly."

It's rare that I say this, but I have to applaud this administration's willingness to finally listen. I've been tearing it apart for weeks because of this fiasco, but this action proves to me that at least they're not completely incompetent and insensitive, and honestly I don't have anything sarcastic to say, I'm just happy and relieved. In closing, Mary Sue has issued this statement:

"I'm glad to see that we can accommodate this year's outstanding senior class by having them continue in the rich tradition of graduating at the Big House. My thanks goes out to everyone who made this possible, and I'll see you on the 26th. Go Blue!"

Such a kiss ass. But I guess I'll take it. Students way to protest and actually get stuff done, administration, way to take your thumbs out of your goddamn ears and listen. Now I'm actually looking forward to graduation and you should be too. Go Blue indeed.





























April Fools! Please, you really thought this would ever happen? With our administration?

Other considered headlines:
Terrelle Pryor Changes Mind, Now a Wolverine
Big House Luxury Box Project Scrapped For Good
Rich Rodriguez Involved in Airport Bathroom Sting
SAE Hosts Charity Fun Run for Rape Prevention and Awareness