Everyone knows that the first day of class is good for two things. The main purpose is to scan the room for people you can, have, and will hook up with at any point of the semester.

The second, less exciting purpose, is to grab the syllabus, those seven stapled pages which only become useful weeks down the line.

Although it's common knowledge that first classes are skippable, it's still kinda crappy that you are supposed to drag your hungover limbs to class just for a damn piece of paper that will be available online at the end of the day. Shouldn't there be just a bit of something to make the trip worth the effort? Dancing midgets in bikinis? Jumbo sized servings of Starbucks? Just...something?

Perhaps our professors can spiff first days up just a bit, but please–no lectures. The only thing worse than bullshit is real work and we all know that can wait until the Midterm.