Douchebag Honoree: Jeremy Abelson

Douchebag Honoree: Jeremy Abelson
A Speed Dater in pursuit!Yikes!I don't think I want to be in this crowd.All he needs is his collar popped a bit. Ugh, and the hair chest is in view. Yes!!!!

He is sometimes hidden behind his online personality “Richard Nouveau,” yet Jeremy Abelson is anything but under the radar. This 28-year-old University of Michigan graduate founded the website Pocket Change, a site dedicated to uncovering the ludicrous pricing of “luxury” items in New York and Los Angeles – wait, there’s more icing on this Jew cake. Abelson is well known for his site, but his true fame's derived from his speed dating events. These events skillfully titled for undeserved attention (e.g. Rich Guys & Hot Girls or Sugar Mamas & Boy Toys), are exclusively designed for Forbes list windbags and gold digger “model-types.” This "high end" meat market is not exactly a novel idea, the Bravo reality TV show, The Millionaire Matchmaker, already exposed the public to old rich men on Cialis with a desire for hot young ladies. Still, Abelson has received media coverage for his “Natural Selection” events.  

Not surprisingly, Abelson began cultivating this persona on the sprawling campus of the University of Michigan. Inspired by National Lampoon’s Van Wilder, he started a crusade that ended in him acquiring a University of Michigan (funded and approved) golf cart to roll around campus in. In a Page Six Magazine interview, he thanks the homely chick from the University of Michigan student council and the cronies who followed his leadership in an “Ecologically Friendly Committee” he founded during his undergraduate career. I’m sure the University of Michigan is proud to have produced this and other disposable personalities.   

The best part of Abelson’s rise to popularity is his sanctioned bigotry. As his alterego,
Richard Nouveau, he gets to pompously post phrases like:

“I’ve lifted my dating embargo on Orientals (I’ve decided to overlook the constant squinting).”

 

He says there’s no truth to these sayings, “it’s a mockery” he claims, but it’s a “mockery” that I’m sure Asians awaiting double lid surgery aren’t appreciative of. For added blissful amusement, Abelson says he is mocking the attitude of the white upperclass, and then clamors to say that he is a candidate for the "Rich Guys & Hot Girls" event (he is exactly what he mocks).

“Smart people understand it’s a mockery,” says Abelson, but I think, more importantly, smart people understand what an awful waste of space Abelson really is. Jezebel has named him “Douche du Jour,” and he has rightfully earned the title.

In regards to the exclusivity of his speed dating soirees Abelson claims, “the only victims are the poor and the ugly.” Abelson is unknowingly oppressed by his own standards, as far as we can see, he’s not really rich and I have yet to see the a hot or handsome angle on this guy.

He has received a coveted position in the Douchebag Hall of Fame.      
 

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Comments

Bandit Quest
Isn't it hypocritical for you to call Abelson a bigot after criticizing his research on overpriced goods then associating this with him being Jewish? Or am I simply misreading this? Posted 06/24/2008 7:14 PMReply
Dr. Benton Quest
Hmmm....it's less bigotry and more a cutesy moniker. I knew it was touchy throwing "Jew" in there. His "research" in luxury items isn't really being criticized; I would say it's his persona I'm putting on blast here.

No worries though, I've been called worse than a hypocrite.
Posted 06/25/2008 06:34 AMReply
Anonymous
sorry folks but racial humor is funny. Its when folks like the author here take things out of context (yet we're supposed to ignore the "Jewish" comment I'm guessing) that people start getting offended. Also, need I mention the complete pass black comedians get when ragging on other races (including asians)? The guy may well be a douche but pivoting the whole piece of the eyelid comment is sinply reaching. Posted 06/25/2008 07:09 AMReply
Dr. Benton Quest
Seriously, stop beefing about seeing Jew in the post. The "Jew" comment your referring to is not even remotely racist. It's as mild as telling someone they have a Jewfro. Goodness.

Oh, and bringing up the whole black comedian thing (I really don't get the validity of that argument). Anywho, this guy is just a creep who based pivotal life decisions on National Lampoon's Van Wilder. The End.
Posted 06/25/2008 08:03 AMReply
Anonymous
Anywho, you need to get a new name. Douche. Posted 06/25/2008 5:58 PMReply
Anonymous
Your original comment was not racist, and it was most likely said in jest, but for you to declare all Jewish people cheap being cheap is the same as calling someone's hair a 'Jewfro' is nothing short of anti-semetic. You explicitly are saying it is okay to call all Jewish people cheap. How can you possibly get off calling someone a racist, when you are blatantly making an anti-semetic comment yourself?

You don't need to defend your comment because you cannot, just admit that you were wrong and then you can go along looking to create newsworthy stories about nothing for your lame ass summer job. All the while, you are probably getting paid minimum wage, living with your parents, while spending your nights trying not to wake them up when jerking off to the Steph's College Sex Diaries. It's also a shame that "the Jews" you refer to will probably be the ones buying you drinks at the bar in the fall, because you will not be able to afford them on your own.

You sir, are a douche bag.

Cheers
Posted 06/25/2008 8:02 PMReply
Dr. Benton Quest
Thank you for the comment above.

It gives me goosebumps to see idiocy in the morning.
Posted 06/26/2008 07:36 AMReply
Anonymous
what people dont know if that Jeremy is actually an awesome guy with an impeccable sense for business. you can't really hate him for that Posted 07/17/2008 4:33 PMReply
Anonymous
"anonymous" is either Jewish, or possibly even Jeremy himself. Either way, this jeremy is a douche who has made himself out to be someone who im sure almost everyone universally despises... i bet even the rich guys and hot girls who go to his events hate him. how crass and disgusting. btw, i come from a wealth-off family and you don't see me talking up my assets in such an offensive way. Posted 08/14/2008 03:36 AMReply

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