I bet the University teaches the CalSO freshman orientation leaders a lot of things before unleashing them on their freshman charges: the locations of all the Cal Bear statues on campus, how to not accidentally sexually harass people, etc. etc.  One thing you’d think they’d teach their orientation leaders is how not to get into awkwardly dangerous situations in downtown Oakland involving freshmen sporting corsets and the word “virgin” written across their young foreheads in lipstick.

But nay, apparently taking your CalSO brood to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show is not only a good idea, but a popular one.  A yearly tradition, this “bonding opportunity” is more than kind of stupid.  For example, getting from Oakland back to Berkeley at 3:00 am isn’t just a jump to the left and a step to the right.  It’s more like nonexistent?  Oh yeah, and the bouncers touch your boobies upon entrance.  And the emcee definitely sports a handlebar mustache and a thong.

So dance, fair children.

Dance for your innocence.  Dance for strength.