SO...just to clarify...I am currently inebriated and just got back from partying on the town in my homeland. That being said...I need to express my extreme dislike for fake people. I mean, what the heck. You probably all know what I'm talking about when I mention the fake people that pretend that you were pretty much best friends back in highschool even though you never really talked and even when you did converse it was little more than "hey dude, look at how my peach fuzz is growing in" or "hey, that guy can wag his penis between his legs...crazy!" (obviously...I had gym class with these people). In any case...there are a few I can stand...and a multitude I have no patience for...and unfortunately, tonight is the first time in years I have encountered any and all of them. 

As I entered the bar, I felt safe, it was semi-cleared out...me being ignorant and not thinking that the night before Turkey Day is the night to get trashed, I managed to persuade my friends and I to go to a local area where there is a bunch of bars that don't card. So, we went. Our final locale happen to be a hole in the wall where I have never seen a crowd before. We arrive at 9 pm, and the place is dead, so we stand in back and drink our whiskey sours and smithwicks and make small talk. Slowly but surely the rather small bar became inundated with local college age students and creepy later 20 year olds looking to pick up a piece of turkey day a$$. 

As we scoped out people we began to recognize faces of people who we had graduated highschool with...9 in total...pretty much turning the bar into a real life version of our senior yearbook...except everyone has either gained or lost weight, and either succeeded or failed in life for the past couple years. Needless to say, we avoided making eye contact or talking with any of them.

OH...but they came to us! You see, my buddies and I weren't the "hottest shiz in town" but we also weren't really disliked by anyone...so people generally found us to be the pleasant quiet guys that they would talk to when nobody else was looking. So these people, who I have no real interest in talking to, stumbled over to us through the crowd. First one to the prize was a guy I grew up with as a kid, then stopped talking to me when he hit puberty. He was nice enough, and bought us a round (which kinda ruined the plan to leave soon thereafter). We chatted a bit, him obviously obliterated and looking to score some teenaged tail...us kinda awkward because his fly was down. 

Soon several others, in zombie-esk fashion, meandered our way. Most conversations started with either "Happy Thanksgiving!" or "Holy shit is that you?!". I have no problem with saying hi to someone I dont like, but seriously, when you can't shake one off by saying "hey, we gotta get going man"...then its going too long for me. SO...in summation...people I knew in highschool but never really talked to THEN...please be brief...cuz you know, and I know...if you haven't changed that much...we probably wouldn't talk NOW if we had the sober chance. Am I right, or am I right?

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone...may your holiday be full of family and friends (that you want to see ;-P )

Gobble.