Although Jessica Coen graduated from the University of Michigan, her last-minute decision to back out of Columbia's grad school (in favor of internet stardom) makes her a hot college drop out.

During an interview with Gothamist, Coen revealed her intentional effort to peeve her parents as she mindlessly plopped down cash for J-School, but instead opted out for a scintillating career at Gawker:

"Okay, say it with me now:

I DID NOT ATTEND COLUMBIA JOURNALISM SCHOOL. I was accepted to their 2005 class, I visited the campus, and I plunked down my enrollment cash (NB to all would-be j-schoolers: This was very, very stupid and expensive on my part). Nick contacted me shortly thereafter (not knowing about Columbia) and it was pretty clear that I would have to choose. Columbia lacked the poverty panache that I’d been longing for, so here I am. Also, I really wanted to piss off my mother, and choosing blogging over Columbia seemed like a cute way to go about that."

As an English major at the University of Michigan, she didn't seem to have aspirations reliant on the "Gawker Alpha Persona" she is now infamously attached to. In the alterna-reality of the "blogosphere" (ugh, please stab me for using that term), she sat in an LA office, surviving the lugubrious climate by blogging about  idiosyncratic occurrences and cerebellum-numbing experiences.

 Her unconscious keyboard tapping drew a small, but respectable audience, that included her former employer -- Nick Denton of Gawker Media.

Fast-forward, past countless Brangelina posts and smack-saturated socialite commentaries, Coen has scored a position as deputy online editor of New York magazine. She has also held a position as a deputy online editor at Vanity Fair.

Not bad, for a twenty-something who started as a Michigan-born nobody with a flair for grabbing the eyes of those fettered to their computer screens.

Yes, Coen's a self-made star of the gossip hogging, pill popping, clinically depressed online nation; she's even gained the prickly, slightly surly NYC attitude we love to hate.

Though some may claim that Coen's fame and resplendent career have been cheaply accomplished, it will never overshadow the fact that she has a better job than you do!
 

Where Would Coen Be If She Had Gone To J-School?

Career Prediction: Jessica Coen might have been a candidate for the esteemed staff of the New York Times or The New Yorker. She would’ve kept some of her wide-eyed Michigan naïf qualities with a delicious sprinkling of city grit.  

Online Harassment: None. Last year, Jessica wrote a lengthy piece in Glamour magazine about the online firing squad directed at her blogging; if she had stuck with her Columbia acceptance, she wouldn’t have needed that pricey therapist.

Prescription Drugs: Significantly less dependant. At Columbia, anti-depressants wouldn’t be necessary, but Gawker blogging requires regular visits to the pharmacist (and no, we don’t mean street pharmacists). 

Sleep Deprivation: Poor Coen, unfortunately, experienced many sleepless nights at the hands of Gawker content. From early menopausal night sweats to celebrity crotch-induced night terrors, her sleep patterns have been severely compromised. She could have avoided this torture at the Columbia campus.