Note to whiny bitches: This is not a campus related story. If you have a problem with it, look away.

Let me paint a picture for the Michigan men out there, because I really hope the women don’t share this fantasy. Picture a large and clean bathroom with a Lazy-Boy leather chair and an HD flat-screen TV. Now throw in your own personal waitress who will serve all your appetites for both food and flesh. Would you ever leave?

Well, for a Kansas woman, her boyfriend’s trailer park bathroom was that heaven… for two whole years. She bathed, ate, drank and had conversations with her boyfriend as what was described a “healthy relationship” taken out of the bathroom tile context. The article failed to mention how the relationship was on a sexual basis, but hey, everyone fantasizes about doing it in the shower at some point-- just not every time.

The story loses its humor when ‘mental illness’ and ‘childhood abuse’ is brought up. The sticking of the butt skin to the toilet itself doesn’t make things any prettier. They had to unhinge the toilet and take it with her to the hospital still attached.

And to all the women who doubt this male fantasy, let me ask you this. Has a male friend of yours ever made a comment about how lucky you were because there were couches in your public bathrooms? I rest my case.