Where in the world is Michael Phelps? A better question would be where in the world isn’t Michael Phelps.
 

The object of America’s obsession has been traveling non-stop since his unbelievable, awe-inspiring, record-breaking, incomparable (enough?) Olympic performance in Beijing. The New York Times has been tracking the swimming star and gives us this update on his whereabouts:

In the 23 days since he collected his eighth gold medal, Phelps has lived up to the nickname bestowed upon him by the Chinese. He has been a flying fish, traveling everywhere, it seems, but Baltimore, the place he calls home. The hours have blended into days and the days into weeks, so that he might as well be telling time by one of those melting clocks in the Salvador Dali painting.

From Beijing, Phelps traveled to London, site of the 2012 Olympics, to be the guest of honor at festivities coinciding with the closing ceremony in Beijing. After a two-day recreational side trip to Portugal, Phelps plunged into an itinerary only a pilot could love, traveling over the past 12 days from New York to Orlando to Chicago to San Francisco to Las Vegas to Los Angeles to New York.

He may be a little jet-lagged and more than a little exhausted, but I don’t exactly feel bad for the guy. Phelps has partied in Vegas, schmoozed with Demi Moore at the VMAs and chatted with Jay Leno. Where’s the college tour though? No love for University of Michigan, his alma mater (is it still called that if you don’t graduate)?
 

Apparently there are more important things on the horizon. Besides his buff bod appearing on a box of Corn Flakes, next up is hosting duty on Saturday Night Live's season premiere this Saturday. Do superhuman swimming abilities translate into a sense of humor? Audiences will soon find out.
 

No matter what the gig, though, I’m thinking Phelps should probably take it. Knowing America’s short attention span, Michael’s probably got about 2 of his 5 minutes of fame left. That might not even be enough time for the ink on his upcoming memoir to dry.