Inspired by AHor’s recent post of a certain nude duo getting their clean on, I’ve decided it’s time to talk about Chi Phi. Now, I’m not one to pick one person out of a house and make a generalization based on that, so I’m not going to spend this post talking about how Chi Phi are all a bunch of gay chubby dudes and how they should start dating Pike and live happily ever after. Although that would be precious.

I went to Chi Phi a fair amount my freshman year, because I was a wide-eyed innocent who didn’t have a handy guide to tell me the difference between ADPhi, AEPi, ADPi and AEPhi, so I just went to any building that had people in it and letters on it. A couple guys I knew actually went on to join Chi Phi, and immediately adopted the attitude of “I’m in a frat, so I’m automatically too cool to know you now,” a philosophy which many former friends of Greeks know all too well. A lot of the guys strike me as being very impressed with themselves, but really for no particular reason. Although I supposed that’s true of the Greek system at large.

One thing that Mr. Shower Scene did say that caught my attention is “I’m in Chi Phi, but I should be in SAE.” That kind of struck me as Chi Phi in a nutshell, a kind of declawed, neutered version of SAE. A majority of the guys are rather skuzzy and overall quite, let’s say abrasive, but they’ve never done anything to warrant the kind of “bad boy” image that SAE enjoys, and so they kind of just hang out and play beer pong and shoots hoops in their back yard. I suppose there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but it all strikes me as rather bizarre when I realize they have to pay thousands of dollars to stand around and do this. If you’re going to be in a frat, either embrace your inner SAE by throwing bottles at rushees and then getting laid by them, or go the FIJI route and cure cancer with a fun run/pie-eating contest on the Diag. Just contribute…something.

So Chi Phi will probably stay “middle-lower-western-tier” or whatever people are calling it these days, until they do something news worthy like burn down DPhiE next door or land Alpha Phi as a pre-party partner, either of which seem equally likely. This shower scandal is the most newsworthy thing that’s happened to them (and really, it's not even them) well, ever. They might want to think about that for a while. Make waves Chi Phi, make waves.

Campus rep: 5/10
Douche factor: 6/10