Michigan Greek Mythology: DPhiE

Posted by Paul Tassi 07/24/2007 2:38 PM

For the last time Jen, I'm not going to formal with you!

I became very familiar with Delta Phi Epsilon freshman year when one of my friends decided to pledge. This was her rationale:

Johnny Quest: So which bids are you considering?
Freshman Friend: Theta and DPhiE.
JQ: That's, uhhh, quite a range there. Which one are you going with?
FF: Well I figure I could be in the popular one, but the girls would be bitches, or I could be in the ugly one but the girls will be nice. So I'm thinking DPhiE.
(one year later)
FF: Wow, I'm so deactivating.

In that year she found out her original assumption was wrong. It's true that sororities with a less-than stellar campus rep can compensate by having really nice girls (AGD, Delta Gamma), but DPhiE is not one of them. With the unfortunate nickname of "Dogs, Pigs and Elephants" the girls seem to have cultivated the personalities to match. Despite having an extremely choice house on the best spot in frat row, the girls seem more preoccupied with bathing in Chanel perfume and seducing nasty ZBT guys than pulling their house out of the gutter.

Campus rep: 2/10
Bitch factor: 7/10

Comments

Anonymous says,

zbt guys are nasty. so in addition to being ugly and mean, these girls are dumb. Posted 07/24/2007 4:43 PMReply

Anonymous says,

Johnny, are you in a frat?

Wannabe CG Posted 07/24/2007 6:21 PMReply

Paul Tassi says,

one of my many mysteries

what do you think? Posted 07/24/2007 6:41 PMReply

Anonymous says,

Johnny -- who ARE you?? Are you single?

WCG Posted 07/24/2007 9:08 PMReply

Paul Tassi says,

I'm an enigma, and it's possible Posted 07/24/2007 9:32 PMReply

Anonymous says,

Wait ... don't be a tease. Really, now! Do you have a girlfriend?

I'm going to guess that you ARE in a frat since you seem to know a lot about them so I assume you're tapped into the scene. (Maybe that's why you're anonymous?) Posted 07/24/2007 9:45 PMReply

Paul Tassi says,

Don't worry CG, I'm solo

and yeah being anonymous helps when Tri Delts start trying to dig up ex-gfs or Theta Chis start looking for a house to burn down.

but if people put the clues together and unmask me? It's my last year, so what's a few more enemies? Posted 07/25/2007 12:11 AMReply

Anonymous says,

Johnny quest is my herrrrrrrrrrrro Posted 07/25/2007 12:24 AMReply

Anonymous says,

Johnny, the only "clue" is 1/8th of your face peeking out from under a cowboy hat. I think your identity is safe.

But it's a really adorable 1/8th!

Wannabe CG Posted 07/25/2007 10:19 AMReply

Anonymous says,

Im not going to blow your spot Johnny. But for all you clue-seekers out there, Johnny Quest's real initials are A.R. Let the investigation begin Posted 07/25/2007 3:45 PMReply

Anonymous says,

um, you clearly have never met a DG, Johnny. (and no, i'm not one). you're missing out. That is, if you're interesting in cute girls with a brain and some class. Try taking your lazy ass to Oxford once in a while, you'll see. Then again, they're probably too good for you. Not that they'd ever be bitchy enough to say so. Posted 09/21/2007 12:28 PMReply

Paul Tassi says,

I think you're commenting on the wrong post sweetheart. I bet a DG would've realized that. Posted 09/21/2007 12:30 PMReply

Anonymous says,

um, can you read? i think she was commenting on the fact that you said dg was less-than-stellar. really, grouping them with AGD? no... Posted 09/21/2007 12:56 PMReply

Paul Tassi says,

Ah I see, I'm used to people bitching about the list. And way to promote a sorority's niceness and classiness by bashing another one. No irony there. Posted 09/21/2007 1:27 PMReply

Anonymous says,

Johnny, how many girls in DPhiE do you actually know? Honestly, I am curious because while I can admit that there are some girls with attitude, most are nice, intelligent, and completely on par with any other sorority. Personally, I do not understand the stereotypes associated with the house, but I can tell you from first-hand experience that DPhiE girls (on the whole)are far less bitchy than those in other sororities. What's more, you can find the stupid joke nicknames for any sorority; and the same way, a girl in AlphaPhi will tell you she isn't "all for free," a Tri-Delt will tell you she is not "coke snorter," and one of my best friends in Kappa will be offended at the mere insinuation that she is a spoiled brat always saying "Visa Visa Mastercard," I am not a dog, nor a pig, nor an elephant. It's not the nicknames I have a problem with, rather your use of the nickname for material as if the girls actually adhere to it. It's unfortunate that your friend had a bad experience with DPhiE, but most girls, including myself, have had wonderful experiences - and it's not because I like to associate myself with bitches either.

I am sure you have read a thousand and one of these messages, and I am sure you could care less what I have to say in response. Nevertheless, here it is and you should know that your view of greek life in general and DPhiE specifically, is narrow and skewed. If there is anything I hate about being in a sorority, it's that people like you not only accept, but perpetuate ridiculous stereotypes. Lucky for me though, if you're that inept to believe the stereotype, I don't need to worry about actually have to speak to you in person - I am such an Chanel bathed, ice queen that you wouldn't deign to converse with me anyway. Posted 11/03/2007 6:49 PMReply

Anonymous says,

ive some not-so-hot girls from dphie, but ive also met some hot ones. everyone ive met from there seemed cool and down to earth... im not saying its one of the best houses but its really not that bad at all. Posted 12/16/2007 6:46 PMReply

Anonymous says,

i agree with the above comment. yeah there are some unnattractive bitchy girls but also some really down to earth cute girls too. isn't that what every sorority is like? plus i heard their pc '07 was a bit more diverse and had some cute girls. it's definitely not the best house on campus but it's not as bad as everyone say or thinks. by the way, keep up the work JQ, the blog is hilarious. Posted 01/29/2008 10:26 PMReply

Anonymous says,

dphie girls don't seduce zbt guys Posted 05/08/2008 10:09 PMReply

Anonymous says,

as a guy who just joined the greek system this year...i have to say this is pretty bogus..yea there are some ugly girls..but i think their new pc has some cute girls and maybe more than prior years (but i guess i cant really say cuz im a freshman) but still.. Posted 10/09/2008 9:15 PMReply

Anonymous says,

whats the status on the new pc.. thoughts anyone? cuz i think its improved..but still awkward. but improved Posted 10/09/2008 11:44 PMReply