Because you're not really fratty unless you chase your Keystone with Insomnia Cookies.

I hope you like a little more cushin' for the pushin' or perhaps some junk in the trunk because there is no busting this myth. A little weight gain is an essential part of the freshman experience, right? Actually, no.

From my experience the freshman 15 is more about losing 15 pounds than gaining them. Anyone who can gain 15 pounds when their main source of food is the Markley cafeteria is in dire need of my friend Jenny Craig, I hear she's the Tridelt house mom. Prison food never tasted that bad. When the label says Southwest Cajun Chicken it really means it was made two weeks ago in the southwest and a Cajun man died from eating it, but now it's on your plate and good luck. I honestly think the people in charge of food services might be pro-anorexia because there is no way they expect that sh*t to be eaten.

For those less familiar with the salad bar and light beers  excuses like its too cold to walk to the CCRB don't cut it, unless you like your winter coat and I am not talking about your North Face.