Here's a fun new way to get out of class: OSCR (that's the Office of Student Conflict Resolution, I guess I didn't cover all the acronyms) is instituting an optional student jury that can be used to resolve student conflicts. If this is anything like real jury duty, which I've used on at least nine different occasions to get out of things, this is great news for the student body. Paper due? OSCR duty. Midterm exam? OSCR duty. Pi Phi girl asks you to formal? OSCR duty. Flawless.

There's some controversy about this panel as the article mentions possible scenarios in which a student accusing another of sexual assault might not want that presented in front of a student jury. This illicits a "no shit" response as yeah, maybe that dude in sweatpants from your Psych discussion doesn't need to know the details of your attempted rape.

And wait, stuff like sexual assault gets taken to OSCR? What about like, I don't know, the police? Shouldn't OSCR disputes just be about things like, "OMG, she totally stretched out my shirt last night" or "I can hear my roommate masturbating at night and it creeps me out." That last one is not funny. You hear that Steve? I know what you're doing over there! Just stop it!