As promised yesterday, the best and worst Super Bowl commercials have been compiled into a list truly worth bitching about. All the commercials can be seen HERE.  So without further ado, the best three super bowl commercials of 2008:

1. Pepsi- They earned this spot with two commercials. The “what is love” Pepsi Max commercial was the only funny one to take place during the first quarter and therefore more expensive. Funny Chris Kattan cameo at the end of it. What really earned the number one spot though, was Justin Timberlake. Seeing the (naturally) White Michael Jackson (without Neverland Ranch) bashed into windows, crotch driven into a mailbox multiple times and peeping on a cross-dressing Andy Samberg drove Pepsi to this number one slot. If only they showed that Andy was wearing a Dick-in-a-Box.

2. Doritos- They had what may have been the funniest commercial of the night, but their other commercial dragged it down. The best was of course the mouse trap. I’m not sure if it was the classical Carmen playing in the background or the barrage of punches in the second cut, but who doesn’t enjoy sophisticated people being pummeled by human-sized rodents?

3. Planters- They took the final spot. There’s nothing like men drooling over a mole-bearing, snaggletoothed whore who rubs Planters nuts in her cleavage. Sexy. There’s been an extended version played on other stations that only add to its greatness.

Honorable Mention: Semi-Pro/Bud Light. This commercial proved that if you give Will Ferrell 15 seconds of screen time he will say something funnier than what any writer can come up with. Pure genius.

A special thanks goes to Tide because they made a commercial that had relevant use of its product, something you don’t usually see.

Now for the list of most poorly spent 10 million dollars for a 30 seconds bit, ever.

1. SalesGenie- This racism is killing me inside. I don’t know if they are trying to attract minorities who identify with Ling-Ling the Panda or the poor white trash people who still laugh at that stuff. Blatant stereotypes and accents just don’t do it anymore. They managed another gem, throwing more money out the window. Well done ****s.

2. Sobe Life Water- Woman has bottle. Woman spills water. Lizard catches water with tongue. Lizard finds other lizards who dance to Thriller. That’s it. All you’re going to get is 75 year old grandmothers laughing at a dancing lizard but are too senile to remember what the commercial was for. Money well spent.

3. Gatorade Dog- Gatorade would have made out better with any commercial they’ve used in the past, ever. They had a dog drinking ferociously out of a water bowl for 20 seconds, which grew to be quite nauseating. Then they say “Man’s Best Friend” in front of the dog with Gatorade bottles placed. Brilliant.

Dishonorable Mention: Godaddy.com, do they ever put a commercial out not during the Super Bowl? You’d think with a year between commercials they could get something better than promises of Danica Patrick pictures. Hope you’re looking for overweight rednecks looking to squeeze out a quick one on your site.

Final analysis: Too many animal commercials (pigeon, mouse, screaming Bridgestone animals, lizards, dogs, Budweiser horses, etc). The planters girl was the only sexual commercial (that Carmen Electra commercial for mints just barely missed the shit list). Sex still sells, I don’t care if Janet Jackson got the FCC’s undies in a bunch, bring it back!

P.S Eli Manning Super Bowl MVP!!!