Given the continuous and seemingly eternal popularity of that John Belushi “College” t-shirt (hilarious, by the way – and so original at this point), I think its only rational that we all adopt these ironic, self-serving threads for everyday use.

That way we can avoid silly and unnecessary questions like Who Are You? What Do You Do? and Are You Someone Probably Not Worth Talking To? that we’ve been wasting our time with for so long.

Also, it would be a lot easier to catch criminals, since they would be walking around with “Grand Larceny” or “Serial Rape” on their chests.

Just an idea.